Dissidia Madness
by mickXfan
Summary: This story/thing/whatever takes place in the world of Dissidia where final fantasy characters come together to save the world from evil or something along those lines. It will be a very fragmented read (see author notes) and you will be confused. But hey, there's Strifehart in it.


Summary:

This story/thing/whatever takes place in the world of Dissidia 013 where final fantasy characters come together to save the world from evil or something along those lines. It will be a very fragmented read and you will be most confused. But hey, there's Strifehart in it.

* * *

Author Notes:

When I was 13, I decided to bastardise the English language. And now, 8 years later, I am releasing it from its time capsule.

Everything is written in thought-speak. The POVs will jump around very loosely in the dissidia timeline.

* * *

 **Cloud's POV**

Cycle 13

My mind was still swimming about in a dense fog when the world swam and spun and righted itself with me on my back.

I opened my eyes and saw a very familiar face in a very familiar backdrop. Cosmos... so it was the next cycle. The war was about to begin anew.

Which meant... HE would be here. And I would have to face him; fight him. Again.

Fucked up. So incredibly fucked up.

Sephiroth was right. He'd been right all along even when I had completely denied it and defied him. I had let my friends and loved ones die right in front of me.

I didn't do anything. Utterly powerless. Utterly helpless. I couldn't save any of them. I'm weak. I'm weak. No... nonononono!

Zack... what would you have done if you were in my shoes...? I don't know what I should do anymore. Sephiroth's messing with my head. I- I just don't...

A slap. Two slaps. A punch to my stomach. I'm coughing up blood. My ears are ringing. My vision is blurry. There's something cold and heavy on my body and I cant breathe. A sharp pain at my neck. The ground rises fast. Too fast. Pain. Pain. Pain. And then numbness. I cant think. I cant move. There's a black fog drifting over my eyes. Silence.

Brown. Grey. A storm. So familiar... Who is it? There's a noise. No. It's fading.

"You... Squall? Why are you... here? I'm fine, look... See? It doesn't hurt. It's kinda red though... why do you look so afraid? It doesn't suit you y'know..? What? I can't hear you... That shape... Sephiroth!?"

"What... is that... wait... Squall dont. DONT! Wait... no... Come back! Squall! Dont-..."

He's dead. How anticlimatic. I should be feeling happy or something, shouldn't I? Hey Zack, Aerith... Sephiroth's dead. He's just a corpse lying on the ground over there. It looks so... pitiful. And lame. This feels kinda weird...

Hm? Oh, so that's where Chaos went. He thinks he's Satan or something. He's dead too. We managed to kill him. Finally...

"Oh hey Tidus. Are we leaving? No.. no I'm fine. Where's everybody else? Alright. Let's go..."

"Ah, hold on... Squall! You don't look so good... Come on, we're going..."

 **Squall's POV**

Cycle 13

Blablabla. Thoughts thoughts thoughts. Stupid Ultimecia and her stupid time compression. Stupid Seifer and his stupid... Seifer-ness.

Ughh... what, this again? This makes it the 13th time already. What a pain in the ass. Shit and it's the same people too. Stupid Chaos and Stupid Cosmos and their stupid war. How many times are they going to fight until both are satisfied?

"So what if you're weak, Cloud? Everybody has their own weaknesses. I have mine and you have yours. You're indecisive not because you're weak. It's because you're blaming yourself for being weak."

What's so bad about solitude? I don't understand why you're all lecturing me about friendship and travelling in groups. I've had enough of noisy people who hang around me all the time like they're in fucking orbit.

I think I may be some kind of noisy people magnet. If I didn't like them so much they'd probably be dead by now.

That guy's following me again. I don't know what his problem is. If he wasn't such a complete moron, and therefore incapable of harbouring malicious thoughts, I'd think he was really working for Chaos as a spy and looking for cracks of weaknesses to exploit for his gains. I shook my head. I had always been too paranoid for my own good.

But really. What does he think he's trying to achieve? If he's trying to stalk me, he isn't doing a very good job of it. Wow, he just tripped over his own feet. Seriously? Maybe I should just ignore him.

"Uhm..."

Or not.

"Excuse me, you're Squall right?"

No, I'm Kefka, can't you see the resemblance? "Yes, I'm Squall."

"You see.. Ah.. this is kind of awkward but.. Uh... You know Ultimecia right? I mean.. of course you know her! We came from the same world after all. But anyway, the point is... I came across this little tidbit of information, y'see...Well, actually someone told me about it in my dreams but.. uhhh... it's not a fake kind of dream. This ghost came up to me and told me about it and I swear it was the first time I've ever heard of such a thing. The ghost was reaaally pretty by the way, just so you know I almost fell for her. Ahem anyway, and then I realised that she was actually talking about you so... it got me thinking, y'know? Like should I -..."

Someone please kill me.

"So then I saw you walking off on your own, as usual, and then I was like... hmm should I follow him or not? And then I did follow you and then I was thinking about how I was going to tell you about this information, y'see? So.."

I dropped my face into my hands. "So what's the bottom line? We had drunk sex and now you're impregnated with my child?"

It took me awhile to realise I had actually spoken that out loud. Dammit. "Just... get to the point, please."

"I'm your father."

Hyne, you bastard.

"Hey, calm down, it's just me. It's Squall... Yeah. Hey, it's safe. It's safe here, alright? It's okay..."

I met him on the outskirts of Ultimecia's clock factory. Cloud was right, he did look like a serial rapist. We made eye contact and gave each other the silent treatment. I guess I'll have to start the conversation.

"So you're Sephiroth huh?"

He smirked and started talking at the slowest pace I'd ever heard a human talk before. I was on the verge of nodding off when the sudden silence woke me up. Shit, I need to improvise.

"What are you talking about? A slave to darkness? Your puppet? Dont make me laugh." Those were the only two things I could remember him saying, not that he should know about that.

"I came here to defeat you so Cloud will stop bitching in his sleep about you all the time. You're so used to inflicting pain on others. I bet you haven't felt enough yourself, huh?"

I was ready to go. I had my Gunblade out, poised and everything. But then Sephiroth opened his mouth again. Ugh... if that 8 foot long sword didn't somehow skewer me to death, I think I'd die from boredom anyway.

Ah... shit... it hurts... shit...

"What... Cloud? Is it over? Hmm.. yeah... I think I killed him. I dunno... shit. I may have overdone it a little... Tidus..? No... I didn't see Jecht. He's probably... somewhere... ow. Ah.. ow.. shit... Sorry Cloud I gotta..."

"GET OFF ME LOIRE!"

"Call me daddy."

"I'll call you dead meat when I'm done with you.."

"Aw... You're so cute when you're angry. Hey Squallzo, give daddy a smile?"

"Don't talk to me! Don't follow me! DON'T HUG ME!"

"Cuchi Cuchi Coooooo~"

"Arrghhhhh!"

 **Tidus's POV**

Cycle 13

The Gods must hold more of a grudge against me than I'd thought. I mean, really? The 13th cycle? It felt like I'd just returned from the previous one, and now here I am, being dragged back again to face the worst enemy I've ever known. No it's not Chaos. For all the excess drama surrounding him, that guy was ridiculously easy to defeat.

No. The enemy is far worse than any of the villains I've ever encountered. The enemy is the sorriest excuse of a father ever in the history of fathers; the ultimate epitome of evil.

Jecht.

That Leonhart dude's such a stoic grouch.

Can't blame me for wanting to see him stranded in the middle of a bunch of puppies. Not that it'll be much of a difference between that and the Bartz-Zidane duo trailing after him all the time, like hatchlings following their mother hen. It's hilariously cute really.

"Cloud?"

He didn't look back but his pace quickened. I felt myself grinning.

"Heyyy, Cloouuuddd."

I was starting to drawl. God, I must be bored. The blonde guy with his crazy humongous cleaver ignored me.

"Hey Cloud! What are you doing up in the sky?"

I jogged to catch up with him.

"Oh hey, Cloud, I think I see your twin! Wow.. you have a lot of siblings don't you?"

That pulled a growl out of him. Just a little more.

"That cloud looks like a penis. That one looks like a turtle. And that one looks like it's fucking Squa-"

I swear I was ready for that punch he threw at me. I was probably just having too much fun and my reflexes were momentarily down a notch. I could have parried that sissy fist, really.

"That hurt! I was only saying what I saw!"

His eyes were glowing. Score! I mentally crossed out a line on my list of things that pisses off resident ice prince number two. My cheek hurt and my eyes watered but it was so worth it. Maybe I needed a new hobby.

So here I am, sitting on this ledge all by my lonesome, watching as the coldest bastard in the universe gets harassed by possibly the only person who could get away with it. I know I really hate my dad and stuff and I'm always trying to fight him one way or another. But really the feeling was mutual so it kinda balanced out.

This weird, awkward dance between the most oblivious, naive guy in the world and his wayward, lone wolf of a son is frankly unbearable to watch. But, like a fly drawn to the electric hammer, I can't turn my eyes away.

"Get. Off. Me. Or I swear to Odin..."

"Aw come on, Squallzo. Give me a hug. I wanna feel like a dad! Pretty please?"

"NO!"

The dude can never catch a break. First, it's Zidane and Bartz, now it's Laguna.

Oops, gotta hide. He's glaring over at Cloud and I, looking as though he'd like to laser us to death. Once upon a blue moon, I may have felt some sympathy for the guy just because he always seemed so grouchy. But hey, in this dump, entertainment comes sparingly and you gotta take what you can get, right?

TBC

maybe

probably not


End file.
